Thrash and Scream!

I glanced around for my umbrella. I wasn’t sure if it was raining – I hadn’t bothered to look outside yet – but I knew rain was possible for the day, so I wanted it. Didn’t see it, so guessed it was in my work bag from yesterday. I was. I threw the bag over my shoulder and grabbed my keys. I opened the door, glancing outside. The ground looked dry. The umbrella could stay in the bag. I unlocked the outer door, opened it, and stepped outside.

INTO A LARGE STICKY WEB! AAAAAAAA! GET IT OFF GET IT OFF GET IT OFF!

Surprisingly, I managed not to scream. I thrashed about, trying to extricate myself from the impressively large web, while looking around for the spider that created it. Oh, there he is. Large. Shudder. Another scream suppressed. Ugh. I don’t mind spiders as long as they’re small and stay in the corners. NOT WHEN THEY BUILD LARGE WEBS RIGHT ACROSS MY DOOR. I managed to not even destroy all of his web (he did a lot of work in those 14 hours), and he was bouncing around, retreating from my thrashing. I brushed off what I could and stepped up a stair out of the way. I still needed to shut and lock the door, the door that now had a large spider and half his web sitting on it. The spider moved down, right by the lock. Sigh. Wrong way, spider.

Now that I was out of the web, I brushed much of what I could see away, hopefully discouraging him from rebuilding while I’m at work. He started crawling to the ceiling along a remaining strand. I shut the door and locked it and retreated.

Stay in the corners. Please. I don’t mind spiders as much as other bugs since they eat the other bugs, and I’m all for that. Just don’t build a huge web right across where I must walk. That’s all I ask. I don’t think that’s too much of a request.

Shudder.


2 Comments

  1. Look at it from the spider’s point of view: “I had worked all night on a beautiful web. I was just sitting there taking a well deserved rest and this spicercidal, raving maniac tears through the whole thing! TOTALLY wrecks my beautiful work. And it was such a good web. Very well planned and perfect in every way. I had picked the placement because of the good amount of bugs there for snacks, and the fact that it was a nice dry spot. I had to run for my Life!! I thought there might be something left to rebuild on, but, no, the 2 legged creature (how do they support and balance on only 2 legs anyway?) turns around and wipes out the rest of my home. Any body know of some good spider friendly real estate?”

  2. Now I feel horribly guilty. Poor spider….

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